Having My Way
1. How I May Have My Own Way
HOW I MAY HAVE MY OWN WAY
Let him that would save the world first move himself.
—SOCRATES
It seems that nearly everyone has an instinctive desire to have his own way. Too often this becomes insistent and shows forth as “Do as I say, or else!” No two desires are alike, and this tendency of each to insist on having his own way may well be a major source of conflict and disharmony in society. Now, if I read man’s purpose aright, we should be heading toward harmonious rather than conflicting relationships, and something unintelligent goes on here if one of man’s instinctive desires is hostile to his life’s purpose. It is for this reason that I wish to think through for myself how I can have my own way and, at the same time, do no injury or injustice to others—indeed, be an asset to them. If I can find a way to live like this, then others can also.
Perhaps the answer will come clear if I can resolve two other questions: Who am I? and Where am I going? Or, better yet, What really is my way? Another phrasing of these questions might be: What is man’s nature? and What is man’s destiny? These speculations are as ancient as man himself. Although they may be beyond the capacity of any person to answer, some light may be shed as one wrestles with them.
Who am I? This question is seldom raised because most answers to it are so vague. Such a question falls into the same unfathomable category as Who or What is God or Creation? Nonetheless, it is interesting to speculate, for one comes upon this anomaly: I am next to nothing and yet a part of everything. Infinitesimal though I be, I am phased into the Infinite!
Who am I? Here’s one part of the answer: I am one octillion atoms—1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000—a number difficult to grasp unless we use the imagination. Cover the surface of this earth—and the seas—with dried peas to a depth of four feet and that would fall far, far short of an octillion. Go out into the universe and cover 250,000 other earth-sized planets with four feet of peas and that would be the number of atoms in my make up.1
The atom? It is so small that 30 trillion atoms could be placed on the period at the end of this sentence without overlapping. Blow it up to 100 yards in diameter and what do you behold? Radiant energy in the form of electrons, neutrons, and the like, in wave sequences flying about at the speed of light. In the center is the atomic nucleus which, after being thus expanded, is the size of a pinhead. This and this alone is “stuff,” and no one knows what it is, except that it appears “solid.” All else is empty space.
Were it possible to apply an atomic press to me and squeeze out all but the “stuff,”—the nuclei—I would be a particle so small that it would not be discernible on a piece of white paper. In a word, I am but a mere speck—next to nothing!
As for the other side of the coin, there is a sense in which I am more than a mere, mechanistic speck—infinitely more. For instance, my octillion atoms are not the same atoms they were a few years ago. They continuously escape and a new octillion enters about every five years. To where do they escape and from whence come the new ones? To and from everywhere throughout the universe! As the famous chemist, Dr. Andrews, writes:
There is a high probability that you have in your body right now a thousand atoms that were once in the body of Julius Caesar. . . . And speaking very reverently, we can say that each of us has in his body a thousand atoms that were in the body of Christ . . . the individual atoms are scarcely more than the shadows of a far deeper reality that we find in this total atomic harmony within us, the spirit of our Creator within us.
If I wave my hand . . . it not only moves the leaves on the trees outside, creates ripples down on the water of the bay, but also moves the moon; the sun feels this motion, and the stars; even the farthest nebula will tremble because of the motion of my hand. As a famous physicist put it, every heartbeat is felt through the entire universe.
. . . there is in each of us an eternal core, call it dynamic force, call it personality, call it spirit or soul or symphony or what you will; there is in us this core, this director of our symphony of life that somehow has an invariance that transcends the changes of space and time. And in this way, we can understand that in mortal life there is this immortal reality that merges with the eternal.2
So, I am next to nothing—and a part of everything—as is every human being. That’s who and what you are and I am!
Like almost everyone else, I want to have my own way. Is this possible? Yes, if my way be right; indeed, having one’s own way is not only possible but certain if the way be right, and just as certainly impossible if the way be wrong. Thus, having one’s own way or not revolves around right and wrong behavior. While few matters stand more in contention than right and wrong, I have a way of drawing the line that suits me.
Wrote Thoreau, “If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.” When anyone attempts to run the life of another, to mold the other to his own design, to cast anyone else in his own image—regardless of intent, be it degrading or generous—the other should indeed run for his life. Why? It is this domineering trait that arouses conflict and disharmony in society and accounts for the taking of lives by the millions.
If making carbon copies of others be one’s intention, he will never have his own way. It is impossible; it cannot be done. Point to a single success! The one dominated is resentful, and well he might be. Any respect he may have had gives way to disfavor, even hate. And the dominator is no less harmed; he not only views the failures at his own hand but, if he has any sense at all, he notes that in attempting to run the lives of others he has neglected to control and improve his own life.
Thus does the harm spread in both directions, whether it stems from a private dictocrat lording it over only one other or, as we are seeing more and more, political dictocrats lording it over millions! Not a one of them will have his own way.
Very well! What is the right way as I see it? I take my cue from Socrates: “Let him that would save the world first move himself.” In a word, I have not been given the world to save; you are not my target, nor is anyone else. Who then? Just me—that person who is at once next to nothing and a part of everything!
To help keep myself on target, I have embraced a few guidelines, for which I claim no originality:
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Interfere with no one’s creative actions.
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Do not to others that which I would not have them do to me.
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Extend respect and kindness to others, even when they appear to be wrong.
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Share my recipes for living, cooking, or whatever with anyone who cares to know.
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Strive for the perfection of my own goods and/or services and exchange with others when mutually advantageous.
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Maintain enthusiasm and curiosity.
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Yield not to stress and hardship.
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Profit from error by open confession.
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Condone no special privilege for self or others.
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Let all proclaimed positions be an accurate reflection of whatever my highest conscience dictates as right—integrity.
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Seek truth, play fair with everyone, learn teamwork.
What then is required to have my own way? Nothing more than to practice the kind of self-control which aligns individual lives with the master pattern. Anyone who cannot so master his own life does not deserve to have his own way.
Finally, consider how a more or less general practice of such ways would lead away from conflict and toward harmony in society, that is, toward man’s destiny. The way of personal improvement in peace and harmony—the way of freedom—is an open road uncluttered by man-made barriers.
* * *
The following chapters were written in answer to various questions—all relevant to the freedom theme—that have been raised in recent months. Old questions, old answers—so why not forget them? Strange as it may seem, they are important to me primarily because of questions that will be raised during coming months!
Time after time I have been stumped by a question that has popped into my head, and then thought it through for myself. Almost invariably, an inquiring soul, shortly thereafter, has raised the identical question. What goes on here? I do not know. In any event, how satisfying it is to reply with a carefully considered answer rather than a hasty and stumbling effort.
It is a pleasure to share these thoughts along the way with anyone who cares to listen.
