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More sleepless nights


I just finished repairing grout in my master bathroom. As a home repair hack, I typically remove excess caulk and sealant with my bare fingers — it’s messy, but quick and easy.

OK. So far, so good.

Then, while washing my hands, I read this warning on the back label, “This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer.”

Seeing the capital “S,” I decided that state does not refer to everyday residents of California, but instead refers to the occupying apparatus of coercion and compulsion.

Such a realization means a lot to me. You see, I don’t like to be out of it, the last to learn what everyone else knows. A small matter of pride. But there it is.

So I relaxed a bit.

Yet that cancer thing got me thinking and doubting once more.

Am I OK? Especially considering that my state, the State of Ohio, has not seen fit to warn its hapless residents.

I have to assume that agents of the State of Ohio can read labels and, thus, are aware that the unspecified chemical is known to the State of California as a cancer risk. So is the cancer concern a function of geography, and I am OK out here on Ohio? Or is my state keeping something from me?

I’ll be tossing and turning for the next three nights, until Tuesday morning when Ohio’s health department reopens its doors to the masses. Only then will I know my fate – that is, of course, if they’ll even tell me the truth.

Oh, well …

Jim Fedako, a business analyst and homeschooling father of seven, lives in the wilds of suburban Columbus. Send him mail.

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