I have a dilemma.
I know this isn’t a self-help group or a board frequented by psychologists, but I am not seeking that kind of advice at all. I am seeking logical and philosophical advice from what I consider to be a peer group of like-minded individuals. If you will oblige me for a few autobiographical paragraphs or so, it will become clear how this may be directly related to our common interests and shared goals. I have no idea how long this will end up being and how much you might care to hear, if any of it, so, of course, if you so wish, skip over this thread in part or in its entirety.
My life until now: When I was about nine and a half years old, I was awed and inspired by computers and how they worked. I picked up my Father’s “Programming in C” book and my path through life had thus been determined. By age 14, I was leaving school every day to go to my afternoon programming job. By 16, I used some savings from that work and a newfound entrepreneurial streak and programmed and marketed an educational CD-ROM product that would eventually pay my way through college and later be sold off to a more interested distributor. Throughout my high school life, I had picked up other books I found interesting, such as all those by Ayn Rand, and I already considered myself “Libertarian,” but I was only as much interested in economics, politics, or philosophy in general to the degree that I would defend and debate smaller governments in my social studies classes with my (non-classical) liberal teachers. Only the continued attainment of wealth interested me, so I ended up majoring in Business Finance and Information Systems in college. College ended up being a useless and expensive endeavor and I did not learn anything of value that I had not already gained independently in the “real world.” However diligently I ran my business though, by the end of college, all of my savings and wealth from my entrepreneurial activities had been depleted by my immature spending habits on cars, women, and “stuff.” Upon leaving college, I pimped my programming ability out to one company after another, from city to city, state to state year after year, earning more and more, spending more and more, living better and better: but never being fulfilled.
A couple years ago, I started examining this lack of fulfillment and found that it was all rooted in my disgust of how the economic, societal, and political system works. So I went back to reading. This time, I found books by Tom Woods, read articles on sites like LewRockwell.com, through which found The Mises Institute, where I downloaded and was engrossed in every piece of audio, video, and every word I could download. “The Ethics of Liberty,” with its logic and consistent detail, was more thought-provoking and stimulating than anything I had ever read. I attended one of the Mises Circle Events in Colorado Springs where I purchased and read “Human Action” (with a dictionary nearby). Again, this kind of logic and philosophy was what I was missing in life.
If I could do it over, I would have replaced “Programming in C” in my nine-year-old hands with “Human Action” and see what my life would be now.
There was one thing that stuck in my mind after that Mises event in Colorado Springs though. Tom Woods ended with “So, what can we do?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czcUmnsprQI To paraphrase badly, he said, he was good at writing, so he writes, and asked his audience to find what they’re good at, and do it to further our cause, to actually quote some: “each of us have a role to play…[do] everything we [can]…we spread the truth…spread the message through our own efforts.”
I may have taken it more literally than he meant it, as he may have just meant, “rich people here today, please be sure to donate to us on your way out.” But I want to help and I do believe I have a role to play.
Later that day, a fellow programmer (who also attended the event) and I talked it over and started a project that was intended to bring any consumer together with any service, with added features of a rating system, open interview phase, open bidding process, testimonials, optional escrow, etc. But designed in such a way that not only was it a totally price and consumer-centered market, but it was not currency specific, i.e. somebody could exchange a sliver of silver for lawn mowing if they wanted after establishing that the lawn mower was reputable, but not necessarily "state-licensed" in lawn mowing. Ooo, an Internet site subverting the government, that was our big master plan! We realized too late (when we were done), that we had only created a better craigslist, or an ebay-craigslist hybrid, except we had no money left to market it after the time it took to create, and no chance to compete with those giants. When it came time to face reality again and pay the bills, we both ended up going back to the job market.
I regret that after that I made the worst mistake yet: I ended up at one of the only places hiring in Colorado Springs, a government contractor, a deal with Evil at a rate only a counterfeiter could pay. Needless to say, my hypocrisy and nagging guilt got the best of me after about few months and I literally went a bit crazy and ended up where I am now: living in the unique welfare state that is called Mom’s House back in California…at age 27.
Given the nature of my welfare state, where food and shelter are provided, I naturally spend more and more time researching and absorbing more Austrian Economics and philosophy, and less time on goals that would make me independent again.
It is an addiction. I cannot stop. I have over 80 days of more audio to listen to and thousands of pages to read; not to mention the daily unread items in Google Reader!
So, if you’re still reading, you know that: now’s my chance to really start over, with the correct book(s) in my hands.
Do I
a. Go forward with my next under-funded entrepreneurial project (www.onficient.com) that has little to do with Economics or Philosophy, and still be continually distracted by my passion for it?
b. Create something like that proposed in the thread “A Real Mises University” http://mises.org/Community/forums/t/11643.aspx
c. Create my Magnum Opus: Human Action Online -- It would be a perpetual browser-based “game” where “players” can homestead property, develop their property into goods, or offer their services to other property holders, contract to learn from people with superior skills than them, enter into contracts with each other, including but not limited to insurance, finance, dispute-resolution, etc. Anyway, you get the idea. It would be a “simulation” of a totally free-market anarcho-capitalist society, except it would rely on real Human Action, not AI. There would be NO game AI to control markets or police individual choices. I have firmer concepts in mind, but I would seek the help of this forum and experts for specifics, so I get it entirely right. It would be not only fun to play and create, but offer a unique sandbox to see if a “government” would emerge from pure and selfish discrete human action and offer interesting statistics on crime and trade. It would be free to play, but donations would be accepted that would not alter the game economy in any way.
d. Stop programming, and follow my current path: study, read, write economics and philosophy at my Mother’s expense and maybe contribute in some small way, someday to Austrian Economics.
e. Go get another job like a regular joe, save, then go back to A, B, or C
I recommend combining your talent of programming with your passion for Austrian Economics for something that is needed in this crazy world. Go for C. The more modalities we have of learning and engage about Austrian Economics and libertarianism, the better.
All of us here came from different paths and upbringings, but with that one common goal of free markets and free society. It is up to us to put our talents and passions to work to reach that goal.
I recommend you listen to this lecture by Gary North
Calling and Career
'It is difficult to imagine any normal person wishing to meet Marx for a third time.' - Alexander Gray, The Socialist Tradition
Laughing Man:I recommend you listen to this lecture by Gary North
Thank you, that is one that I have definitely listened to already. It has already been a big influence in even considering these other alternatives. Each would be such a full-time job though...
That very well may be the answer...career and calling... but 1/3 of the hours of your life you sleep, 1/3 is work, isn't the other 1/3 for eating, laundry, and finding a wife? Where did Gary find the time for calling and career? :) I know, he shut off the TV, but I wish so much to commit to my calling full time and call it a career. Maybe that's my real dilemma. Wishing can't make it realistic.
Well I think North is a bit Calvinistic when it comes to labor. I get the feeling that he believes work should be done for the sake of work. The tv thing is a bit extreme. However, he makes some good points.
Definitely... It is a great speech! I admire Gary North's articles and speeches a lot.
Initially, it seemed to me that it was more targeted at academia, not at a software engineer who may want to shift to some hybrid of academia during his pre-mid-life-crisis.
I'll listen to it again tonight to make sure all of the good points sink in. Thanks!
Well I think academia is one of the professions that allows for calling and career.
This was an interesting post. I'm nineteen years old right now, and I've been programming since I was seven (although obviously at a pretty rudimentary level then). I actually don't have a job that has anything to do with either Austrian economics or programming, so I kind of feel like I'm being pulled in three directions. I agree with what ViennaSausage said, though; for instance, I'm spending some of my free time working on a game that I hope will accurately model economics (because few games do) and demonstrate a kind of anarcho-capitalist economy.
I think, ultimately, the dilemma is that there's only so much you can do in life. What matters most, then, is to enjoy it. Whether that enjoyment is to be obtained through the cause of liberty or through your own material well-being is irrelevant. There's a Nietzsche quote that I think pertains to this:
The harshest daylight, rationality at any cost, life bright, cold, circumspect, conscious, without instinct, in opposition to the instincts, has itself been no more than a form of sickness, another form of sickness - and by no means a way back to 'virtue,' to 'health,' to happiness. . . . As long as life is ascending, happiness and instinct are one.
I don't necessarily agree with his implications in that passage, but I agree with parts of the message. If you feel like you're working against yourself, or you feel uninspired or lethargic or apathetic, it's probably time to change directions and reassess where you are. Happiness should come naturally, as just a side-effect of how you live on a daily basis.
I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
Wes Cooper:b. Create something like that proposed in the thread “A Real Mises University” http://mises.org/Community/forums/t/11643.aspx
This is great, but why not do a hybrid with this:
Wes Cooper:c. Create my Magnum Opus: Human Action Online -- It would be a perpetual browser-based “game” where “players” can homestead property, develop their property into goods, or offer their services to other property holders, contract to learn from people with superior skills than them, enter into contracts with each other, including but not limited to insurance, finance, dispute-resolution, etc. Anyway, you get the idea. It would be a “simulation” of a totally free-market anarcho-capitalist society, except it would rely on real Human Action, not AI. There would be NO game AI to control markets or police individual choices. I have firmer concepts in mind, but I would seek the help of this forum and experts for specifics, so I get it entirely right. It would be not only fun to play and create, but offer a unique sandbox to see if a “government” would emerge from pure and selfish discrete human action and offer interesting statistics on crime and trade. It would be free to play, but donations would be accepted that would not alter the game economy in any way.
I've always thought this would be THE thing to do. Games are the greatest educational tools of all (especially when they're executed even half-decently), and our job here is really education. When you think of it that way, it's a perfect fit.
Perhaps don't call it anything Austrian or libertarian-themed, but just realistically model the necessary elements. That way you could get a large user base, and socialists, etc. would try out their systems in competitions with others, and everyone could see exactly how and why monopoly fails, and all the economic principles at work. If you hinted in any way that it was made to prove Austrian economics, people would call it biased. If this became a fairly large online game community, and the economic modeling elements of the code were realistic and freely viewable, I bet you'd even get scholars looking into it and referring to it. I'd be willing to help with consulting on the design side, because I've spent most of this year thinking about a game along these same lines.
Games are the most convincing tools, because you can actually interact with them hands-on, thereby learning something that would have taken a whole chapter in a book in a few minutes without even realizing you're learning it.
Think outside the monopoly paradigm. Net-based microsecession | Why anarchy hasn't worked
The correct economic answers seem to be A with hard work or E.
For the time being, I'm going with D until I can know enough philosophy to discredit my own moral hypocrisy once again and reimburse my mother. I have no motivation to program. I am done producing until I know what to morally produce.
Interesting, I am a game programmer myself and also thought of creating such a game myself.
http://libregamewiki.org - The world's only encyclopedia on free(as in freedom) gaming.
kiba: Interesting, I am a game programmer myself and also thought of creating such a game myself.
There are many such people. Maybe create an open source project out of it? P.S. I'm a grad student of comptuer science. I've done some basic 2d and 3d OpenGL stuff, too.
The appeal to "charity" is a truly ironic one. First, it is hardly "charity" to take wealth by force and hand it over to someone else. -Rothbard
I found a real eye opening book that helps one find a path. Reading it is a little like experiencing Buddhist Enlightenment [as described by some]. Everything stays the same, but it all makes sense and "fits".
Maybe you could find it useful at this important crossroads in your life.
The book is [drum roll, please, get ready for a weird name], Compassion and Self Hate, by Dr T. I. Rubin.
Wes, I can relate very much with the career/calling issue. Sent you a friend request. If you accept, I'd like to chat with you about it by PM. I think I can shed some perspective on your dilemma.
If you find something evil that wobbles, push it. - Gary North
Giant_Joe: kiba: Interesting, I am a game programmer myself and also thought of creating such a game myself. There are many such people. Maybe create an open source project out of it? P.S. I'm a grad student of comptuer science. I've done some basic 2d and 3d OpenGL stuff, too.
I am too occupied with writing my tetris variant at the moment and I only have five years of programming experiences. Someone else would have to create it before I can begin considering contributing. Even so, I perserve resources for the express purpose of making games for money.
Smiling Dave:Compassion and Self Hate, by Dr T. I. Rubin.
From the back cover: "Many of us know that self distructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them...release your innate and powerful capacity for compassion"
I've read books like it, and talked to people like it, usually the answer is to re-brainwash yourself into accepted socialtal "norms" because your "self-distructive patterns" are "crazy" and you need to "forgive" yourself for thinking for yourself. But I doubt a book like that would be recommended on this forum, so I'll pick up a copy. I've never NOT learned anything from a book, even in a book I disagree with I learn more about how others around me may think.
kiba: Even so, I perserve resources for the express purpose of making games for money.
The most logical and economical thinking yet presented on this thread!
C seems to be the best answer for you based on what you mentioned. It's the most you wrote on any of the options as in it is an actual interest. If you did it right, it is a huge money potential. Why is such a project not as entrepreneurial as option A? You can incorporate all options that you've mentioned (to some extent) and still take advantage of the knowledge of programming you've acquired (i.e. knowing who to hire).
E would be fine if you are strapped for money, but there's no reason you can't do that while doing working on a project like A, B or C. I'd rather be in a temporary bad condition that will lead me to a good condition rather than in a permanently "mediocre" condition.
Wes Cooper: Smiling Dave:Compassion and Self Hate, by Dr T. I. Rubin. From the back cover: "Many of us know that self distructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them...release your innate and powerful capacity for compassion" I've read books like it, and talked to people like it, usually the answer is to re-brainwash yourself into accepted socialtal "norms" because your "self-distructive patterns" are "crazy" and you need to "forgive" yourself for thinking for yourself. But I doubt a book like that would be recommended on this forum, so I'll pick up a copy. I've never NOT learned anything from a book, even in a book I disagree with I learn more about how others around me may think.
if the book is economics, you gave a keynesian description of it
Im very interested in your take of the actual pages [as opposed to back cover blurb].
Eioul: C seems to be the best answer for you based on what you mentioned. It's the most you wrote on any of the options as in it is an actual interest. If you did it right, it is a huge money potential. Why is such a project not as entrepreneurial as option A? You can incorporate all options that you've mentioned (to some extent) and still take advantage of the knowledge of programming you've acquired (i.e. knowing who to hire). E would be fine if you are strapped for money, but there's no reason you can't do that while doing working on a project like A, B or C. I'd rather be in a temporary bad condition that will lead me to a good condition rather than in a permanently "mediocre" condition.
An MMORPG is usually one of the most riskest and the most ambitious project you could tackle in your game programming career. The less experiences you have in writing all the other kind of video games, the more likely you are to fail.
But once you completed the project, that's probably your magnus opus right there. It doesn't even matter if your game models economic reality. You made money, solve epic programming problems, somehow manages to keep the team on payroll, and more.
But don't be so dedulded that people can complete this kind of project.
That's why I started small with rubytet, and improves it incrementally. Somehow, the incremental fail, but I am still going and learning.
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