Libertarian humor: Good oneliners for discussions with statists?

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Seph replied on Sat, Jul 24 2010 5:11 AM

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The differences between a democracy and a republic are purely illusory.

The tenets of the constitution can only be enforced with the will, or at least tacit consent, of a sizeable amount of citizens. If a sizeable amount of Americans see no problem with violating the constitution (or at least aren't willing to do anything about it) such as in the weeks and months following 9/11, then it becomes useless.

In other words, a republic is really just a democracy, "restrained" by a piece of paper which itself relies on nothing more than democracy and democratic opinion.   

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Mr Civil Libertartian replied on Sat, Jul 24 2010 6:25 AM

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As usual, Doug Stanhope delivers. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZcFf55SD-Q

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MacFall replied on Tue, Jul 27 2010 12:35 AM

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Statist: "If you hate the government so much, why don't you leave?"

Libertarian: "Since the state clearly hates me so much, why doesn't it leave?"

"The signers of the Declaration of Independence believed that government was a necessary evil. I agree with them on all but the 'necessary' part."

On that same vein: "Government is not, as is often claimed, a 'necessary evil'. Rather, it is a plain evil of such great power that it has been able to convince nearly everyone of its necessity."

The state only feeds those whom it intends to eat later.

For every thing government has supposedly done for us, there are a dozen things which it has done to us.

"Congress shall make no law..." Okay, we can stop there.

If the government had a war on abortion like its wars on poverty and drugs, within five years men would be having abortions. (Paraphrased from Harry Browne)

A state is the most succesful criminal gang in a given territory.

If the government derives its power to rule me from me, as it claims, then I would like for it to kindly f--- off and give it back. (Paraphrased from a post on this forum by someone whose name I don't remember)

Democracy is Gang Rape^(R), the board game!

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MisguidedThoughts replied on Tue, Jul 27 2010 2:18 AM

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These are not mine

Talk is cheap, except when congress does it.

What's the difference between a democrat and a prostitute? A prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

They say Christopher Columbus was the first democrat. When he set off, he didn't know where he was going, when he reached his destination, he didn't know where he was, and it was all done on a government grant.

The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

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ricarpe replied on Wed, Aug 4 2010 6:14 AM

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ViennaSausage wrote the following post at Wed, Jul 21 2010 8:32 PM:

"If the government were truly efficient, it would cease to exist."

Is this an ricarpe original of have you heard this elsewhere?

Sorry for the late reply, VS.

I would like to claim it as an original work.  I may have heard something similar in some form or fashion, but I can't recall where and I have done some searching.  With the books I was reading at the time, it may just have been the conclusion I came up with.

It's origins come from my undergrad days: I was involved in a debate with a classmate who insisted that the government, if run like a business, could operate efficiently and with a profit.  He was enamored with the whole statist-corporatist view of how government and business could collude to make everyone's life better.